**Before I even start writing about this, I just want to say this is not an article to judge others, bring others down or spread any negativity. This is an article meant to shed light, to encourage others and show love.**

Over the past several months, I’ve spoken with several people on their specific stances with the media’s portrayal of sex, love and dating. This wasn’t some kind of intended research project – this was just genuine curiosity or a casual conversation. And their responses, combined with my own personal history got me thinking.

When you think about how much the media has changed in the past 50 years, it’s legitimately shocking. Think about the tv show, Brady Bunch, where a toilet couldn’t even be depicted in the bathroom because it was bad taste. And today we have Original series on Netflix, Hulu or Amazon that can get away with more since it’s not streamed on live TV. More and more, the boundaries are being pushed and people wonder why our idea of dating has changed, or the perception of sex itself – even how we love others. Especially how we love others.

So, basically I just hope to shed some light on the situation and why it matters what you watch and what you’re taking in on a day-to-day basis.

Your TV can act as a “friend” or, rather, a “filler”.

You might be wondering what in the world I’m talking about when I say that. Let’s start with something simple.

You’ve just had a long day at work. You meander into the kitchen to find something halfway decent to eat that doesn’t take too much effort. After all, you’re tired. So you fix yourself a hot pocket or maybe a quick sandwich – something to put an end to the rumble in your stomach.

You take your meal into the living room where you plop down onto the couch and reach for the remote, pressing the power button. You search for the latest season of your favorite show, sit back and settle in for the night. You may get a text or two during the process from a couple of friends asking to hang out, but you decline. You just don’t have the energy.

Your TV is acting as a filler. Instead of using energy to socialize with your friends or family, you experience that feeling through the tv show or movie you decide to watch. And just like with a group of friends, your TV can influence you.

If you tend to find yourself watching show after show containing excessive foul language, nudity or violence – it shouldn’t surprise you how easily it could be for a curse word to slip out when you’re frustrated, or for you to take a second glance when you know you shouldn’t, or to feel your temper rise unnecessarily after coming face to face with a small issue.

Try this out. Take a week off from that show you’ve already felt a nudge or two about watching and see if your behavior changes at all just by eliminating that one element from your life. You might be surprised.

Guys aren’t the only ones who struggle.

Most of these conversations are typically geared towards the male audience – and I can understand why. But as a female myself, I want others to know that females struggle with this, too.

The Idea of Love

Sometimes, they struggle with things a little bit differently from guys. It may not be sexual at all. It could just be the idea of love or dating they’ve read about from their favorite book, or from their favorite TV show with the epic love story they’ve always dreamed about.

Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. The idea that there’s a prince charming out there to sweep you off your feet and save you from any fire-breathing dragon that could ever seek to cause you harm. We like that idea, don’t we? We like the idea of a man loving us – so much so that we would give up a part of ourselves for a chance to feel that. And TV does a heck of a job encouraging that idea. Just about any romantic comedy out there tells the story of two people dating and “falling in love”. And as soon as those words are out of the guy’s mouth, what happens?

There’s a term called fan servicing, where material is intentionally added to please the audience. And they hook us pretty dang well, don’t they? They know just what we hope to see, or to believe in just for a bit. But, then, how does that play into real life dating and relationships?

Often, there’s a lot of confusion – especially when the Bible doesn’t offer a whole lot of specifics for you to go by. But I do have some personal experience and guidance for you in that area.

When it comes to pursuing a Godly relationship, it’s not about asking, “How far?” or “Is this okay?” It’s all about the heart and the relationship you have with Jesus. The overarching goal is to be seeking a pure heart and mind because of a transformed spirit through Jesus. As your relationship with Him continues to grow stronger, you’ll slowly and willingly begin to change into His likeness. And as long as you’re pursuing a relationship with the one who matters most, He will show you when a relationship is worth pursuing and guide you throughout that process. You can trust and have faith in that.

Sexual Desire

On the flip side of that, there are girls who struggle with sexuality in a similar way that guys do. They may struggle with desires, with finding value in her appearance (or what a guy thinks of her appearance), looking past a certain scene in a show/movie, or her own sex drive. Females have hormones, too.

And if any of these descriptions resonate with you, please hear me. You are not a freak of nature. You are not abnormal. Your struggle is one that many women go through – not just you. Please find encouragement in knowing this, and that it’s a battle you can win through Jesus. It’s not an easy path – recovering from sin in any form never is – but it’s worth it in the end. The freedom from that sin is so worth it and the relationship you gain with yourself and your Heavenly Father through the process is so transformational and healing, you won’t ever feel the need to look back at the girl before. You’ll sprint forward into the loving arms of a Father who sees you as whole, complete, made clean, worthy and beautiful. Never lose sight of that.

Overcoming:

Pick up your cross daily and put on the full armor of God.

For those of you who have struggled or are currently struggling, you know the battle that can ensue in a world where billboards, the radio, tv, social media, and friends are all encouraging you to make choices about your life. Some good, some bad. But it is altogether more difficult to avoid the bad in today’s world, than before.

We have to daily pick up our cross, put on the full armor of God and choose the better path.

If your weakness is downtime, get involved. Don’t come home to an empty house where you have nothing to do. Be proactive. Grab dinner with a friend. Join a club or volunteer somewhere. Consider getting a spiritual mentor to help guide you throughout the process. And always pray.

Drawing near to Jesus is the most important part in all of this. It’s only through Him that you will see any change or overcome what you’re going through. It’s only through Him you will experience true freedom from the sin you’re struggling with. It doesn’t mean it’ll be easy, but it is worth it.